Trends
by jaxink
Summary: 2007 movieverse: We all knew it. It was so glaringly obvious. Optimus Prime and Megatron are trend-setters.
1. Autobot Fever

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

_A/N: Plot bunny provided by cheysulinight down on the tfbunnyfarm on livejournal._

_The bunny: 2007movieverse - People notice the Autobot symbols (and one Decepticon symbol) on various vehicles and a new trend starts._

* * *

_Trends_

**Autobot Fever**

Hopping out of his flashy Camaro once it parked in a spot, Sam closed the door gently and patted the hood. The headlights flashed in response, and he smiled before dashing off into the building before the bell for first period rang.

'Late, always late!' Sam thought as he barreled down the hallway. Almost at an all-out sprint, he finally made it to his homeroom — just after the bell sounded throughout the school.

"Late again, Mr. Witwicky? One more tardy from you, and I'll be seeing you in detention," warned his ancient homeroom teacher, wagging her finger at him in admonishment.

"Sorry, ma'am," Sam muttered, struggling a bit to slow down the hammering of his heart. Walking down an aisle of desks to the back row, he dropped his backpack to the floor and collapsed into his seat.

Wearily, he didn't even glance at his best friend as he continued to try and catch his breath. "How's it goin', Miles?"

"Oh, just fine, bro," he responded. "Trouble waking up this morning?"

Sam dragged his hand over his face and nodded tiredly. "Yeah, my alarm went off and I — Miles! What the hell is on your t-shirt?" he asked frantically, once he finally looked over at his friend.

Miles looked down in confusion. "Huh? Do I have ketchup on me? I swung through the drive-thru this morning to get some taters before heading to school."

"No, not a spot. What's that?!" questioned Sam, pointing viciously at the logo on the t-shirt.

"Oh this? I decided to start my own clothing line. I wanted to be original! And I know you got it put on your car, and it looks pretty cool. So I decided, why not expand on it with more merchandise?"

"You c-copied the symbol from my car?" Sam stuttered in disbelief.

"Yeah, hope you don't mind! You know, you should get it copyrighted though, especially if this thing picks up. I expect it's gonna do well," Miles said, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed.

Rolling his eyes, Sam said, "Yeah, and why is that?"

"'Cause I've already sold like a hundred tees and sticker decals in the last month! Tim over at the comic shop is letting me sell 'em there. He says they can't stay in stock."

Sam felt his eye begin to twitch.

"And even cooler, I started sellin' tees with the other logo printed on it."

"What other logo?"

"I saw it on the police car that sometimes likes to patrol by your house. You know, the pointy diamond shaped one with little ears. It kinda looks like a possessed bunny! But it's purple, so the chicks should dig it. The one you came up with kind of looks like a caveman that's crying."

Upon hearing this bizarre explanation from his friend, Sam froze. "Miles, you can't sell t-shirts and merchandise with either of those logos on them!"

"Dude, don't get all bent out of shape. I'm willin' to give you a decent percentage of my profits since I kinda stole the weird doodle from your car."

Slapping his hand upon his forehead, Sam had a bad feeling about this.

* * *

_Two weeks later at the lookout…_

"Let me get this straight. Your friend saw the Autobot insignia on Bumblebee while in his alt mode. He thought it looked — how did you say it? 'Chilled'?" Ratchet struggled for the right word.

"Cool," Sam helpfully provided.

"Ah, yes. Cool. He then proceeded to imprint it upon the clothing humans cover themselves with. And now it has become a trend? Commonplace for humans your age to be sporting this clothing with the insignia on it? Even considered desirable?" the CMO ventured.

"Pretty much. Everyone at school has been going crazy over it! Now Miles and the guy at the comic shop are beginning to make a franchise out of it. They've expanded to making key chains, hoodies, notebooks — basically any flat, sellable surface they can put it on. I'm getting weirded out seeing the Autobot symbol everywhere I go. And no one even knows what it really is!" Sam shouted, pacing back and forth in front of his robotic friends.

Ironhide grunted and would have rolled his optics if he could have. "Now, remind me why you decided to wait until now to tell us all this?"

Wincing at his tone, Sam looked up at the black weapon specialist. "Uh, I didn't think it would catch on?"

"Obviously, that isn't the case," Ratchet pointed out, somewhat amused with the situation.

"Most of Miles' ideas never work out! How was I supposed to know one of them would actually succeed?"

Bumblebee took that as his cue to crouch down to his human friend's level. "Sam, this isn't your fault. As you said, there's no way you could have known this would happen."

"So what do we do now?" Ironhide said, glancing about to his teammates.

"Nothing. No harm seems to be coming from it. Let the humans do as they wish, for all I care," Ratchet replied to his old friend.

The Topkick shrugged his massive shoulders. "Hmph, I certainly won't strain my processors over it."

Noticing that Sam had neglected to detail the full story, Bumblebee nudged the teenager. "Don't you have something else to tell them, Sam?"

Looking up at his guardian innocently, he said, "Uh, no?"

"Sam," Bee scolded, placing his hands on his hips.

"Oh fine! Yeesh, Bee, you sound like my mom. I may have forgotten to mention that Miles also copied the Decepticon symbol from seeing it on Barricade…"

"_What_?! What did the slagger go and do that for?" Ironhide growled.

Ratchet's optics blinked in surprise. "Humans are now sporting the Decepticon insignia as well? Primus…"

Sam shrugged helplessly. "Miles told me because it's purple, girls might like it better."

"Wait a nanoklik," Ratchet interjected. "From what you are implying, am I right to say that purple is considered a feminine color on Earth?"

With an unsure look, Sam answered, "Not everywhere…some places. I don't think I own anything purple, but guys wear it, too. But for the most part around here, yeah, I guess you could say purple is kinda a girly color."

There was a moment of silence as all three present Autobots exchanged glances — until laughter burst out from their vocal processors.

Sam's look grew even more confused. "What's so funny?"

Bumblebee was able to restrain some of his laughter, keeping it down to a few chuckles. "We apologize, Sam. It's just that, if Cybertronians were to view purple things as you seem to, well…"

"It would mean all the Decepticons are a buncha femmes," Ironhide snickered, also reining in his amusement. "Oh Primus, if Megatron knew and he was still online, he'd deactivate all over again!"

"You know," Ratchet began, the others looking expectantly at the mech. "Would this whole situation have happened if Prime and Megatron hadn't designed the insignias the way they are?"

"Maybe," Sam said. "It's hard to say. It's unlikely though. Humans tend to like strange things — even random logos that come out of nowhere."

Just then, they heard the steady sound of a scooter making its way to their location. Mikaela came into view and stopped to park her vehicle before joining her boyfriend and alien acquaintances.

Sidling up to Sam and pressing her lips to his cheek, she turned to look up at their towering companions. "Hey guys!"

"Hello, Mikaela. Why didn't you call Sam? I would have gone to pick you up," Bumblebee said, blue optics focused on her.

"It's okay, Bee. I haven't ridden my scooter in ages anyway," she said with a sweet smile.

As she continued to speak with the Camaro and boy, Ratchet's sharp optics picked up something unusual shining near Mikaela's head.

"Excuse me for interrupting, Mikaela, but what exactly are those dangling from your audios?" he politely asked.

Unconsciously feeling her earlobe, Mikaela's face broke out into a smile. "Just earrings, Ratchet."

Ironhide took a closer look. "Are those miniature forms of the Decepticon insignia?"

Sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck and face blossoming from white to crimson, she nodded. "I couldn't help myself. They were just so cute!"

Her boyfriend and the others stared at her.

"What? They are!"

At that moment, Optimus Prime drove up to join his loyal unit and human companions. Transforming, he stood at full height and broke the silence.

"Greetings! I hope everyone is well. Now let's get this meeting — _Primus_! Mikaela, you haven't pledged yourself to the Decepticon cause, have you?!"


	2. Decepticon Fever

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

* * *

_Trends_

**Decepticon Fever**

The Saleen police cruiser idly drove around Mission City.

_Utterly bored_.

Planet Earth, despite the amount of life on it — disgusting organics, mind you, was lacking any sort of entertainment for the aggravated Decepticon. Barricade spent most of his days chasing speeding humans on the highway, just to give them a bit of a scare. Other times he drove through Tranquility in front of the Witwicky fleshling's residence, hoping for the rare off-chance he might catch the boy alone. Which seemed pretty unlikely, with that Autobot insect constantly hovering around.

Barricade growled internally, weaving through traffic. Humans weren't only disgusting — they were lousy drivers. They constantly clogged up their roadways; usually due to their gawking at any vehicle accident cleared to the side. So there was a sorry-excuse for a car beaten into a pile of scrap burning on the side of the road. What was so interesting about that? Now, if it was an Autobot crumpled up and completely slagged with energon freely leaking from important internal lines, ultimately resulting in their hopeless, pathetic descent into the Pit…that was a different story.

The gruesome imagery of a fragged Autobot calmed Barricade's processors as he rolled to a stop at a red light. He missed the excitement and thrill of battle. That cowardly glitch Starscream had left the planet without so much as a communication detailing if he'd be returning with others. A human and its youngling crossed the street in front of him as that thought trailed off. Oh how easy and delightful it would be to slam his accelerator down and run over the skipping squishie. However, he again reined in his burning desire to, well, squish the squishie. If the Autobots found out, he didn't stand a chance on his own.

Finding his irritation rising once more, the light turned green and the Mustang took off, tires leaving tread marks on the pavement. He veered sharply off the main road and pulled to a final stop in a parking lot facing a busy street lined with shops. Turning off his engine, Barricade settled down to sulk some more. However, something caught his attention.

A few rows in front of him — could it be? No… Yes? It was! Thank _Primus_! A Decepticon insignia!

Opening his communications link with almost giddy joy, Barricade transmitted. _You there! Identify. This is designation Barricade. Why did you not make contact once reaching this miserable back-water planet?_

He was met with silence.

_Hellooooo? Answer me, slagger!_

More silence.

_Are you being stupid, or are your systems offline?_

Uh…more silence.

Quickly growing annoyed, Barricade initiated his scanners and swept them over the vehicle in question. That was odd. There seemed to be nothing extraordinary about the vehicle.

No advanced computer systems. No weaponry. No transformation cog seemed to be present.

No! This wasn't happening.

Turning desperate at the thought of still being alone, Barricade pulled out of his spot and traveled closer to his supposed comrade. Pausing a moment behind the vehicle, he rolled forward to give it a nudge with his bumper.

_Hello?_

Still nothing!

'Oh, frag this!' Barricade thought angrily. Reversing back a bit, he revved his engine and bolted forward, managing to utterly total the imposter.

Completely unharmed himself, the Mustang felt minutely better after crushing the Earth vehicle. Driving away, certainly frustrated, he couldn't help but wonder why the vehicle had a Decepticon insignia on it. Was it some sick joke played on him by the Autobots? Nah, they wouldn't waste their energy on such a task. It just didn't make sense.

'I'm bored…again,' thought Barricade sullenly.

Deciding to search for something to distract himself for a while, the police cruiser headed for the human place known as a shopping center. Many younglings like the Witwicky fleshing frequented there, and they were easy to scare, especially with his disguise. For some reason, many of them began to excrete disgusting fluids, known as sweat, and their heart rates increased substantially at the sight of his alt mode. He had no idea why though. Yes, that's how he would amuse himself for the day.

Feeling a bit better and leaving his annoyance behind, Barricade hid himself among the many rows of parked cars outside the mall. Sitting idly while waiting for squishies to scare, the Decepticon lazily cast his scanners out and about searching for something to keep himself occupied with.

These cars were so inferior to their alt modes on Cybertron. Why were humans so technologically inept? Where was the inspiration? Where was the advanced circuitry?

Pathetically inferior creatures in so many ways.

Oh Primus, no. Barricade's scans ceased immediately as he caught sight of something disturbing. He let his vision dart across the rows of parked cars. There was another one to his right. And behind him! And in front of him! And another two to his left!

He was surrounded!

Autobot insignias all around him.

How did the slaggers sneak up on him like that?! They had boxed him in. No way out. They were sure to send him to the Pit now. He didn't recognize any of the alt modes. However, this didn't comfort the Decepticon at all. It only meant the Autobots received reinforcements from space without his knowledge. At least he knew who his enemies were in Prime's unit. These unidentified mechs could be anyone within the Autobot faction! Growing uneasy as each minute crept by, Barricade rattled his processors to devise a plan to escape his enemies. What to do, what to do?!

_Aha_! There were squishies walking through the parking lot. They would never attack him at the risk of injuring the fleshlings. Throwing his sirens on, blaring and flashing, Barricade peeled out of his spot and darted quickly down the aisle. Trying to avoid the areas where the Autobots were strategically parked, he turned one more corner frantically…reached the end of the parking lot, and yes — sweet freedom!

Pulling straight into traffic and ignoring the angry honking of human motorists, Barricade lost himself within the flow of vehicles. Once he placed a few miles of distance between himself and the Autobot scum, he turned off his sirens and felt some of the tension leave his frame.

'That was a close one,' Barricade thought, allowing a feeling of smug pride come over himself. But those sorry glitches hadn't gotten him. Oh no, Barricade was too clever for that.


	3. Mistaken Identity

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

* * *

_Trends_

**Mistaken Identity**

"Yes, I understand, Captain Lennox," Optimus Prime tiredly replied to the angry voice on the other end of his communication line.

"You've got to stop him, Prime. Secretary Keller is breathing down my neck on this one! If he does it again, the government is going to intervene, and you guys don't need that kind of attention. Trust me on this," Lennox grit out.

Optimus let an intake of air escape from his systems in a sigh. "Don't worry. I'll be having a talk with him. Even if it means having Ratchet disassemble him piece by piece."

"Thanks, Prime. I don't care how you have to do it. It just has to stop. I'll be in touch again soon," Will said.

Nodding to himself, Optimus answered, "Of course. Yes, goodbye, Captain."

Closing the link, the massive Autobot leader stood from his chair and left his office. Walking down the hallways of their temporary base, he wondered if Ratchet had any different ideas of how to solve this current problem. Arriving at his destination, Prime pushed open the doors to the makeshift medbay.

Tinkering with some scrap parts, Ratchet lifted his optics from the task before him and nodded to his leader. "Hello, Optimus. What can I do for you this afternoon?"

"We need to have a chat with Ironhide. I just finished a communication with Lennox. There's been more complaints about his behavior," he stated dryly.

"That slagger is going to get himself scrapped if he keeps it up," Ratchet muttered, not at all surprised with the news.

Optimus nodded in agreement. "Yes, he has made a nuisance of himself, as of late."

"It's not entirely his fault. That silly friend of Sam's is the cause of all of this."

"That may be, but Ironhide should be able to exhibit a bit more restraint."

Ratchet let out an amused chuckle from his vocal processor. "Are we talking about same mech? Ironhide? _Restraining_ himself? Unlikely."

"Then I guess we'll just have to threaten him with a punishment," Optimus said.

The CMO gave his full attention to Prime. "Like what?"

Before the Autobot commander could respond, Ironhide strode in to the medbay to join them. He had a peculiar look on face. Something as close to a smirk as his faceplates could manage.

"Prime. Ratchet," the weapon specialist said by way of greeting.

"Ironhide, I just spoke with Captain Lennox. This outrageous behavior of yours must stop. The U.S. government is threatening to get involved," Optimus sternly stated, placing his servos on his hips.

Shaking his head, Ironhide hopped up onto an empty berth. "I ain't doing nothing outside of my duties."

Ratchet would have rolled his optics if he could have. "'Hide, blasting human vehicles with Decepticon insignias, when you clearly know they aren't real Decepticons, does not fall within your duties."

"What? It's not like there's any humans inside of them when I blast 'em apart."

Optimus grew frustrated with his stubborn old friend. "That's not the point. You need to at least scan them before assuming they're the enemy."

"Not my style, Prime. You know my motto — shoot first, ask questions later," Ironhide drawled.

"You've destroyed five human vehicles with Decepticon symbols on them this week! Humans will begin to grow suspicious if these freak 'accidents' keep occurring to their vehicles," Optimus shouted in irritation.

"Hey, you never know…"

"That's enough, Ironhide. This behavior will cease and desist immediately. You are not to engage any supposed Decepticons in any manner without my authorization, unless it's Barricade. If you don't comply, I'll — I'll...," the blue and red Autobot struggled to come up with a suitable punishment.

Ratchet helpfully jumped in. "If you don't comply, I'll remove your cannons."

That certainly caught Ironhide's attention as his optics blinked in fear. Grunting, he jumped down from the berth. "Fine, fine. Let's not make any rash decisions now. Have it your way."

And with that, the black weapon specialist continued to grumble and mutter as he left the two behind in the medbay.

The medic let out another chuckle. "He's certainly one to talk about making rash decisions."

Optimus felt inclined to agree.


End file.
